Category: Personal

Moral dilemma

I know when I’ve wasted my time away when my joints feel stiff, my eyes inflamed, and my mind unstimulated. Instead, I’m playing TF2 to waste the time away, as I had originally planned to watch a movie, but the plans had fallen through.

It’s difficult to stay motivated when most of my friends are in Austin, doing whatever. For me, the only real excitement will be flying to the East Coast again for the yearly plane competition, but undoubtedly there will be an extremely stressful problem that will counterbalance the excitement.

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Noise

I woke up reading the wrong part of the Internet. Not wrong as in factually wrong – wrong as in something that does not help to stabilize my mind or bring me to a higher level of understanding of the world and that which is beyond our grasp.

The polar divide in ideology which I witness today is, from what I can see, a mostly American phenomenon spurred by intense political competition. While other countries have seen localized and sometimes violent conflict between two sides (often racially driven), never before has a war of information been seen at this scale and ferocity.

As someone who is acutely aware of all of this, it causes me great anxiety to think that every side and opinion has its fair share of criticism – as if everything in the world was wrong. Everything can be criticized, discredited, falsified, and undercut. And yet that is not a very helpful perspective, either – it just means that under the eyes of someone else, what we do is potentially “wrong.”

It’s difficult to step back and reevaluate why we believe what we believe, and why others believe what they believe, without necessarily demonizing or making a mortal enemy out of an “opposing camp.” And yet, it’s not possible to agree with everything – yet it is a necessity to respect those whom with we disagree.

This is the paradox of individualism and unity. The economic theory of comparative advantage requires us to work together to compose a society that runs for the benefit of all of its members; yet, individualism implores each of us to scrutinize the world under our own lenses, and to form our own opinions that may oppose the opinions of others.

Despite all of these concerns clouding my mind, somehow I can feel happy and accomplished. Somehow, I take pride in my accomplishments and rejoice in the successes of others. Somehow, I can just be myself and not worry.

Coping with loneliness

This break, I’ve been coping with loneliness, and things have actually gone better than I expected. Fortunately, the break does not need to drag on any further – I return to college this week.

However, yesterday I was feeling particularly lonely, so I did an exercise that I like doing when it seems like there is nobody to talk to: I list everyone that I know (who is of my age), and I categorize them by connection. (more…)

2018: a retrospective

A week ago, I wrote a retrospective in my private writings, but yesterday after rereading it, I found it profound enough to publish in this blog. Since the retrospective includes personal details, I had to omit them, but given the result ended up looking like a Mad Lib, I decided to reword the retrospective to skirt around such details. The reworded narrative is a bit nebulous and abstract, and I considered even giving up publishing it entirely, but perhaps there is some value in the end.

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Paranoia

This morning, I received a “boil water” notice from the university. I immediately searched the news to investigate the exact reason – is the water contaminated, and what is it contaminated with?

However, all that I could find were two vague reports from city officials about how the treatment plants were overloaded from silt due to flooding, and that Lake Travis was only four feet away from spilling over the dam. Pressed to maintain a water pressure adequate enough for fire hoses to remain usable, the city decided to “reduce” the treatment of the water to allow enough water to be supplied, such that it is no longer at the “high standards” that the city provides for potable water.

But water treatment systems are not a black box; they are a multi-stage process! What stage of the treatment was hastened; or are stages being bypassed entirely? Surely, the filtration for particulate matter is being reduced, but the chlorine process should still be keeping the water sterile. However, none of these questions can be answered due to the vagueness of the report.

Affected treatment plants? Undisclosed. Particulate matter and bacteria reports? Nonexistent, assuming the Austin website actually works right now, which it does not.

Here is the main contradiction in their statement:

WHY IS THE BOIL WATER NOTICE IMPORTANT Inadequately treated water may contain harmful bacteria, viruses, and parasites which can cause symptoms such as diarrhea, cramps, nausea, headaches, or other symptoms.

But earlier in their statement, they stated the following:

It’s important to note that there have been no positive tests for bacterial infiltration of the system at this time.

So what bacteria am I going to kill from boiling water?

All that I can conclude is that the city of Austin is spreading fear, uncertainty, and doubt of the water quality simply to reduce stress on the system, without presenting hard evidence that the water is indeed unsafe to drink. Boiling water will not eliminate particulate matter, and from the aforementioned press release, “city officials” (whoever those are) have explicitly stated that bacteria has not yet contaminated treatment plants, so there is no bacteria to kill from boiling water.

One benefit to treatment plant operators from this warning, however, is that they now have free reign over which stages they wish to reduce or bypass, including the disinfection stage. However, due to the lack of transparency, there is no information to ascertain which stages are being bypassed – the water can really be of any quality right now, and it could even be still perfectly fine.

My questioning of this warning stems from a fundamental distrust in government decisions and communication to its citizens. People simply echo the same message, without seeming to place much thought into it: “Boil water. Boil water. Boil water.” And on the other hand, city officials might state that the treated water is completely safe to drink, despite findings of statistically significant lead concentration in some schools!

I’ll comply out of an abundance of caution (and because noncompliance has social implications), but mindless compliance and echoing of vague mass messages should not be the goal of the government. Individuals should be able to obtain enough information to make an informed decision and understand the rationale of the government in its own decisions.


It is now the next day since the announcement of the restrictions, and the technical details surrounding the problem remain vague. It seems that the restriction has indeed granted free license for treatment plant operators to modify treatment controls as they see fit, without necessarily needing to meet criteria for potable water. Moreover, it appears that the utility has known about this problem for quite some time now, and only now have they decided to take drastic action to prevent a water shortage.

I would not trust this water until the utility produces details of actions being taken in these treatment plants to fix this mess up.

Personal protection

You may know my blog well for my rants, but if you have been or are planning to look into my personal life, you should know that I have hidden these posts. They have provided great insight into myself, but being public on the open Internet, they can also be used against me in unpredictable ways.

They explain in great detail, for instance, why I seem to lack the motivation to work on my projects, what effect this incurs on me, and what grim outlooks I have had on life in the past two years – but I do believe there are some people out there who are willing to argue nonetheless about my personal life, arguments which take mental energy and time to address.

I may open these posts in the future, but for now, a little bit of privacy might be appreciated.