Over the last 30 months, the prospect of deep human connection and the sensation that it is always ever so slightly out of reach has consumed my mind. The incessant longing to feel, touch, and love another human being has become the central topic of many of my dreams, and I regret to say that I’ve lost much of my intellectual edge in pursuit of something I cannot study, read about, or even fully comprehend.
I have become a hopeless romantic.
It is impossible to cure this special category of lunacy that compels one not only to believe that their purpose can only be fulfilled by being with a specific other person their eyes happen to befall on, but to invest all of one’s mind and energy into doing this over and over despite whatever heartbreak was just suffered.
Though it is perfectly normal to experience romantic desire, the intensity that it attacks me with is unsettling, and the disillusionment that comes after even more.
Perhaps one day, I’ll be able to concentrate again on the things that really matter…